Part 6

Before we go on, I should probably tell you about the little event that caused Dad to decide to send me away. Or at least the conversation that followed the event, since that’s what stands out in my memory. Sex, unless it’s either extremely good or extremely bad, isn’t the easiest thing to remember. It’s just sex. Whatever. A momentarily feeling of ecstasy depending on whom you’re fucking.

So, the conversation went something like this, if I remember correctly:

“Your brother’s kind of cute, you know that?”

I wasn’t trying to listen to the fucker. I didn’t want to. I swear he was the only guy I had ever met that felt the need to talk so much after sex. It was annoying. The sound of his voice at that point made me want to do something violent. If I told you that he made me want to punch babies in their chubby little faces, would you think any less of me?

“What?” I was making out with his pillow as I spoke. Too lazy to move. Too spent. My energy had left me along with my semen when I came inside of Josh. Sometimes I’m pretty sure the two, semen and energy, complement each other. But that’s besides the point.

“Simon. He’s cute.” Josh’s shaggy blonde hair was covering his eyes. I didn’t mind. A boring shade of dirt-brown. I had seen more interesting eyes in my time, I figured that there was no point lingering on his.

“Yeah, he is. Considering that I am related to him and all that shit I think that I would recognize such a thing.”

“Not necessarily. It’s precisely because he’s your twin that you might not see it at all.”

What was the point of this conversation? Why was Josh talking about this now? Whatever. I didn’t care. I was far more interested in the adorable little beagle that had pranced up to the side of the bed, forcing her nose underneath my fingers so that I would pet her. I loved Josh’s dog. I think I preferred her company to Josh’s. But, for the sake of amusement, I humored him.

“I know everything about my brother. Why wouldn’t I know that he’s cute?”

Josh didn’t deem my question important enough to answer. “If I weren’t fucking you, I’d fuck him.”

I scoffed. “As if it mattered. He’s straight.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, you guys are identical twins, right?”

“Yeah. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that our sexual preferences are the same.”

“Oh.” That was all Josh said. Just… oh. I knew I had chosen myself a winner.

“Are we done with this conversation? Can I sleep?”

Josh shook his head and looked over at the clock beside his bed. “I don’t think so. You need to get home before your dad realizes that you’re gone.”

I groaned. In the after orgasm high I had forgotten that I was supposed to be home. Simon was covering for me, as usual.

“Fine, fine, I’m out of here. I’ll call you later.” I wouldn’t. Considering that was the night I was to be caught and shipped away. That’s a good enough reason to not call someone, right?

Sorry, baby. I meant to get in touch with you, but, you know. My dad found out that I was gay and shipped me off to a Catholic boarding school for a year in a half, so, I was kind of busy dealing with that. You know how it goes.

Yeah. Right. Perfect excuse if there ever was one.

As I was pulling up my pants, I could feel Josh smiling in my direction. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just a little disappointed that my fantasy won’t come true now.”

“And what fantasy is that?”

“The one where I have a threesome with you and your brother.”

I scowled and clenched my jaw. What the hell was wrong with this kid? “Yeah. Keep dreaming, freak.”

And that’s the last thing that I said to Josh before I went home and found my dad waiting for me with a half dozen empty condom wrappers and a number of (surprisingly) open Playgirl magazines strewn across the floor of the living room.

I’m still trying to figure out what Dad was trying to prove by waving a picture of a naked guy with a hard on in front of my face. Yeah. That’s going to encourage my latent heterosexuality. Thanks, Dad.