Part 5

Sam’s school attire was left in a pile on the bedroom floor; I bet it had been a long time since he could discard his belongings so carelessly. Flannel pajama bottoms and a plain cotton tshirt now covered his body, more to give off the impression that he planned on staying in the house than for his own comfort. Sam did not need Dad suspecting that he was up to anything underhanded on his first night home. Not only would that end up being the last straw for good ol’ Pop, but the whole situation would end up getting me in trouble as well, and Sam knew that he had caused me enough problems simply by going away in the first place.

“So, what did Josh say?” I asked softly, my arms wrapped around the pillow that I had been holding through Sam’s ten minute long conversation on the phone. I had lent my brother my cell phone for the call, only to be slightly put out upon finding that Sam still knew Josh’s number by heart. The two had dated before Sam was sent away. Perhaps it was simply difficult to forget things like that. I was slightly upset that Sam was thinking about Josh so soon. Hadn’t Sam learned his lesson? And why didn’t he want to spend time with me? Why the hell did he have to go running off to party the second he got home? He knew that I hated Josh and Sam was still going to see him. My brother was such a fucking jerk.

“Luckily enough for us, there’s a party tonight at Spencer Chin’s house. Parents are off on a splendid Mediterranean cruise and left him and his sister the house. Do you remember Spencer, Si? I used to hang out with him before–”

“Yes, I remember,” I said quickly, peturbed.

Sam was too satisfied to be annoyed with my interruption. “Yeah, well, we’re going to be heading over there tonight. I’m pretty sure I still remember how to get there.”

“I don’t see why we need to go out at all.” I frowned and pushed the pillow away from my body, looking up at my twin, who was standing at the edge of the bed, and sighed. “I mean, this is the first time I’ve seen you in forever, and you want to go and spend it with everyone else.”

I could see that Sam tried to not roll his eyes. He moved to settle himself down beside me. I’m fairly sure that Sam expected something like this to happen, knowing me. I was always desperate for Sam’s attention at all hours of the day, wanting more than anything to be the center of Sam’s life. Sam had told me once that it was endearing and annoying at the same time. An ego booster and an incessant nuisance. Sometimes Sam adored the way I could never get enough of being around him. Sometimes Sam just had to yell at me to get me to leave him alone, and even that worked only about fifty percent of the time.

“Simon, we’re going to spend the rest of the summer vacation together. We’ll be together all day, all night, all the time. I haven’t had the chance to party since I left, and I’m anxious to get some illegal substance into my system. Not that it’s really all that difficult to get it at Holy Trinity, but sure as hell not as easy as it is here. Seriously, if I really didn’t want to spend time with you, would I be taking you to this party? Hm?”

“No, I guess not.” I didn’t like this conversation.

“Then shut the fuck up and go with it. You’re so needy with me; you really need to get some new friends and meet new people. I would have thought that me being away would have helped you, but it seems like it only made you worse. Do me a favor and talk to someone that doesn’t look like a mirror image of you tonight, you understand me?”

One. Two. Three. “Fine.”

Not the best reaction. Not the one that Sam had wanted, I bet. But he would take it. To Sam, “fine” was better than the alternative, the dreaded word that always meant death whenever it fell like liquid poison from my lips. Whatever. Neither Sam nor I wanted to hear that word coming from my mouth tonight.

“Just do it, Si. Trust me. Things will be fine.”

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“We’ll see.” Sam didn’t bother adding the other part of his sentence. He knew that he wouldn’t have to do so. My paranoia would cause me to figure out the sentence on my own.

It depends on whether or not I’m the only person in that bed tonight. That’s what Sam wasn’t saying. But I knew that’s what he was thinking.